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College Residence Life Staff: Speak to Gain Respect

 
Author: Susan Fee
 

When you speak, do residents listen or ignore you? If youre having trouble commanding respect, it could be the way youre saying it. Here is a list of words that can sabotage your effectiveness as a communicator. See if you recognize any of these red flags in your speech:

Should, Have to: These come across as condescending. Instead of telling people what they should do, offer suggestions. Then let them decide.

Always, Never, Everyone, Nobody: These words rarely paint an accurate picture and come across as over-dramatizing. Youll lose credibility. Instead, use words such as sometimes, occasionally, or some people.

But: This negates everything that comes before it and can make you sound like youre talking out of both sides of your mouth. Replace it with and.

Try: This is one big escape clause and makes others question your commitment. Dont try, just do it.

You: Starting sentences like this comes across as attacking and blaming. Instead, be accountable by starting with I.

Okay: Tagging this word onto the end of sentences makes it sound like youre asking permission: Im upset right now, okay? Lose it, or people wont take you seriously.

These changes may seem small and subtle, but youll be surprised what an impact they can have on how people respond to you. You may also start to notice that when you react negatively to someone, its because he or she has used some of these phrases.

 
 
 

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